What are some rhetorical devices to convice someone that I'm sick via text?

Hyperbole: Use exaggerated language to emphasize your symptoms. For example, "I feel like I'm dying."

Metaphor: Compare your symptoms to something else to emphasize their severity. For example, "My body is a furnace, burning up with fever."

Anaphora: Repeat key phrases to emphasize your symptoms. For example, "My head is pounding, my throat is sore, and my nose won't stop running."

Euphemism: Use a mild or indirect term to describe something unpleasant. For example, "I've got a bit of a bug."

Irony: Use sarcasm to emphasize your symptoms. For example, "Oh, I'm just loving this constant cough and headache."

Ellipsis: Use pauses or incomplete sentences to emphasize your symptoms. For example, "I can barely breathe...throat feels like sandpaper...eyes raw from sneezing...pray for me."

Pathos: Appeal to the reader's emotions by describing how miserable you feel. For example, "I feel so terrible, I haven't been able to sleep or eat anything all day."

Simile: Use a comparison to emphasize your symptoms. For example, "My stomach is in knots like a bunched up sheet."

Alliteration: Repeat consonant sounds for emphasis. For example, "My head is throbbing and my nose is running rivers."

Personification: Give human characteristics to your symptoms. For example, "This fever is relentless, it's like a monster that won't let me rest."